TRUST?

Ever found yourself uttering the words “do you trust me” and there after biting your lower lip wondering if you’re going to get the yes you’re expecting. Reality is when you ask someone that question secretly you hope they don’t ask you too. Why so? We’ve mistaken trust with falling and expecting someone to catch you or putting your life on the line because you trust someone. Just because you don’t believe every single word the person says doesn’t mean you don’t trust them. Just like love trust is found in your heart. You will say you trust someone and remain with a question mark of whether you really do and there are times you will say it just for the sake of saying it.  Trust is hearing a different story to what the person is telling you, believing it but letting go of what you’ve heard the other person say because their side of the story matters less than what this particular person is telling you. Trust is knowing that no one is perfect and being able to overlook their mistakes. Trust is hoping that next time she will get it right, it is unmerited belief in someone or something. It’s not because they are being honest, it’s that you hope it would turn out to be true. After all, no one checks if the chair can support them before they sit, even that is trust.

Thoughts...

Ever felt like you've tried so hard and you just can't do it anymore. You want to stop trying but then there's something that keeps pulling you back. It's hard to explain it in words because even in your mind it's a whole jumble of mixed emotions. Everything else starts falling apart it's as if that one thing was connected to everything else..but sometimes you are just so fed up and you've had enough so you finally gather the courage to let go. It never feels right in the beginning and you want to give in to your weakness but when you look back a couple of months later, you'll be shocked just how strong you are.

WE SEE A UNITED AFRICA

We see a united Africa,

A place of peace and tranquillity,

A place where wars have long ceased and unity reigns supreme,

Where we are all brothers and sisters, children of mother Africa,

We see a united Africa,

A place where poverty is nowhere to be found,

A place where resources are shared equally among the people,

Where Africans live in overflowing riches,

We see a united Africa,

A place where corruption is a thing of the past,

Where leadership is transparent,

Where leaders are for the people and not for their own gain,

We see a united Africa

A place where Africans are proud of who they are,

A place no longer known as the Dark Continent,

Where we as Africans take our place and help each other to be the best we can be,

This is the united Africa that we see.

LIFE OWES YOU NOTHING !

 Lately, a lot has been going through my mind. Don't really know how to express it in words, I hope it makes sense. We tend to go through this life angry and frustrated thinking that life owes us and that we deserve better. The truth is life owes us nothing, people included! We stress over futile things that are today but not there tomorrow, mourn and weep for things that don't give us everlasting satisfaction... How many times do we say we are going to die but still live, how many times do we say we give up but without realizing it still hold on?

I was just thinking... If life was really predictable and everything happened according to the way we want it to, would there be any satisfaction, would there be any point of living?  Imagine someone lending you a scary movie but before they give it to you they've already told you everything that happens, you even know the characters in the movie. Truth is, whenever you're getting to the scary part your mind will program itself in such a way that you won't get too scared... you might even close your eyes. One would then wonder, what's the thrill in that??? You might as well not watch the movie! Sad enough that's exactly what we do, we want to direct our lives, know what's coming next and either prepare for it or in most cases, prevent it from happening.

We live in ignorance not bearing in mind that every moment unleashes a different emotion in us, it adds to building our characters, shaping us to be individuals. SO if things happen the way we want them to, we die unsatisfied souls, self made weaklings because those good and bad times are what makes us complete. We worry too much, think too much but the end result is depression because no amount of thinking can change any situation. We are run down by other people's problems and carry their burdens on our shoulders yet we expect to be happy. We seem to be so affected by the things happening at the moment that everything else in the future becomes blurred.

Losing hope over a lost job like every other company is shutting down, giving up on love because of the end of a relationship, throwing in the towel because of material things lost as if it's impossible to attain them again. It's just a phase and we need to see it that way. As long as there is still life, there is still  potential, in the short run it might seem like it's going from bad to worse but what you do during that time determines the outcome of the future. I believe we should stop being too hard on ourselves and start taking things one step at a time. By taking control of our lives, we become happier individuals and people will enjoy being around us more because nothing is as annoying as being around someone who feels like life owes them and is treating them unfairly!

Break Free

Ever noticed how people like bringing back the past no matter how bad or ugly it was. Most of us have remained bound simply because we refuse to let go of what happened years before we were even born. I'm talking about people who keep referring to colonial rule, people who do not realise how racist they are in ignorance, well I'd like to believe it's ignorance.

My Economics tutor cracked a joke in class one day of how racism will forever exist because of how white cars have black wheels and white bread costs more than brown bread. It's funny how people who come up with those jokes are "black" so I thought to myself maybe it's just an inferiority complex we have because of the race we belong to. The problem we all have is we've classified ourselves into "colours" unless one is Indian or Asian of course. We as "black" people remain prisoners of our past because even up to now  we speak of "white peoples sports", "white peoples food", "white peoples songs" etc..

Earlier on today I was thinking of how hard it must be to be white these days. I believe the end of black oppression was the beginning of white oppression. Why do I say so? The process of compensating the previously disadvantaged people has gone a little out of proportion, something that was not intended by the people that fought for our liberation. Weighty men like Nelson Mandela had hoped that we all live in harmony having equal benefits  and equal opportunities in a non excludable manner so what therefore are we trying to say when we speak of Black Economic Empowerment? I was researching information about universities and it struck me that most universities in South Africa have a white population of less than 5% and one would wonder, is that not oppression? Generations before us that actually fought for our freedom wanted equality but we seem to be revenging what was done to them all in the name of recompense.

It's quite sad that even up to now we have black people who resent white people and vice versa. As a foreigner in South Africa my medium of communication is obviously English and I've often been ignored because I'm using the white men's language. This is true for most African countries because of the assumption going round that every black person should communicate in their African language rather than English thus some people earn themselves the title of being "coconuts" simply because they follow the Western Culture. We tend to distort history fighting a battle that was won by those who came before us

You're probably wondering what I'm trying to say, well it's simple, let us as black people not forget the reason why multitudes of men and women sacrificed their lives for our independence. I strongly believe it was not for us to hold a better place in society but for us to live equally with every person not bearing in mind which race they belong to. Mandela said “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”  Therefore let us love one another, black, white, Indian Asian, and any other race cause when all is said and done we're all people.    

Hidden Tears

I've often been told of how I'm forever smiling and up to now I had never really come to understand the gravity of how there is a story behind every smile. Unfortunately most of those stories remain untold and with every smile that goes, little by little our heart's are torn. We tend to smile at those very people that cause us to cry when we're alone at night. I don't know if it's just me but have you ever felt that maybe if you did show that anger and frustration, those tears, it would be accounted for as a sign of weakness? We are often labelled as people with a strong character, the kind of people who have an "I don't care" attitude not knowing that it's all a façade. I've come to know that everyone has emotions it's just that those emotions are not all triggered by the same thing. You probably will never know how do handle other people's feelings until someone else fiddles around with your own. The problem is after we go through the hurt and pain we become so hard hearted to the extent that we seek revenge even on those people who have nothing to do with what we've been through. Try befriending a person who's been betrayed before or dating a person who's been heart broken and you'll understand what I mean. Why is it when people say nasty things to us we pretend to take it lightly even put on a smile yet when we get home it's the very thing that will delay us from falling asleep? The horrible thing about life, well personally, is that we're often attracted to the very things that break us. It's often hard to stand up to those bullies and say exactly how we feel. I believe every person has been hurt by someone because we live in a world full of people with characters that contradict ours so hopefully I'm preaching to the right crowd. I urge you, yes you, decide to be different, we've obviously heard the golden rule over and over again "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you". Many people go to bed at night in the most extreme cases thinking of suicide and for others just ways to withdraw from society because of what someone else has done to them or said about them. Don't be deceived, words have the ability to make or break someone, actions included so be careful what you say and what you do to the next person !!!